Princeton’s story
“My little 11-pound baby. That should be the headline: ‘Mother delivered naturally a 11-pound, healthy baby boy,” says Melissa. She knew that she wanted to deliver her youngest baby naturally and began searching online for doula services.
She found a supportive team at Mamatoto Village. Then at her prenatal visit, she saw a Mommy&Me flyer and, for the first time, decided to participate in a research study.
“It felt interesting to me to know there is someone out there listening to and caring for low-income Black maternal health. It felt good because not only was it a study, but it also gave me resources and tools,” Melissa says.
Mommy&Me provides a range of services to study participants, including care coordination by maternity care specialists; one-on-one or group therapy; Virtual Mommy Meet-ups, an online support group led by other Black moms; and a binder to keep track of materials and resources. Melissa decided to try out most of Mommy&Me’s menu of options.
“It didn’t feel almost completely like a study. It felt like I was part of a family program that is supportive to help me with whatever I was dealing with. It didn’t feel like ‘Oh, I’m just another statistic.’ I didn’t get that from you all, feeling like just another statistic or guinea pig or something like that. It gave me insights for people who have limited support. It gave me that extra support that I didn’t have. It felt like a listening ear with no filter,” Melissa says.
Despite having given birth before, the mother of five says she felt providers had not done their best to help her understand postpartum depression.
Mommy&Me Lead Perinatal Behavioral Health Specialist Naimah Saleem, LPC, PMH-C, “gave me an open eye about how to cope with it. Nobody gave me tools to cope with postpartum depression before. As a Black woman in a low-income community, they make you feel scared to even tell the doctor ‘I’m feeling overwhelmed,’ ” she explains.
“They try to brush you off, saying ‘Oh, you’re a mom of five children,’ ” Melissa adds. Naimah “always has this bright smile. I said ‘I do not feel well today.’ She says ‘It’s OK. We’re going to take our time.’ She would give me a minute to gather my thoughts, saying: ‘Let’s take a moment.’
"Naimah is definitely Mother Earth when it comes to support of the moms"
I felt like she had it all together. She was like ‘Girl, trust me. I get it.’ Naimah definitely gave me a safe space. Her and Hermela together, both of them were like a powerhouse to me,” Melissa says, referring to her Mommy&Me maternity care specialist.
Hermela Assefa made a routine check-in call. But the day the two connected was nothing close to routine for Melissa. “I was so glad you called,” Melissa recalls telling Hermela. “I was having a meltdown. She was on the phone helping coach me through my meltdown. I’m grateful and thankful to be a part of the study.”
During one of Mommy&Me’s Virtual Mommy Meet-up peer support group sessions, Melissa and other moms talked about what their intentions were when we were in labor and delivery, acknowledging that, sometimes, life has its own plan. Her hope was to have a fully natural birth, with no medicine, and to give birth in a water bath. But what if the baby was too large? What if providers suggested medicine because of the baby’s size or proposed cesarean section?
“That was not in my plans at all, C-section was not - unless in the case of emergency,” she says. Ultimately, she did get a little medication, but she still gave birth naturally. “I still pushed him out; that was a win. I was definitely excited about that. I didn’t have much belief I could do it. In my mind, I had another part of me saying ‘You can do this. You were built for this,’ ” Melissa says.
Princeton is the only boy in a house filled with girls. By age 10 months, he had eight teeth. And by his first birthday, he decided diapers were for babies and began pulling them off. She and Princeton bonded during breastfeeding, and just a glimpse at his mom helps her son become more calm and collected.
“He says ‘baba,’ ‘mama,’ ‘dada.’ Sometimes he says ‘hi.’ He recent is ‘no.’ I think because he’s hearing his sister say no. I was like, ‘What did you say?’ He shook his head, too. ‘How do you know how to say ‘no?’ It was amazing,” she says. “He has little car toys. He loves them. Princeton loves to eat. His favorite food is the beef. He also tried chicken liver for the first time. He liked it. I eat liver because I’m iron deficient. He likes it; I was so shocked. He loves getting his protein in. But he does like that I give him these fruit and veggie pouches. He loves those, the apple sauce, spinach, broccoli and peas,” she says.
And Melissa loves to do her research, looking up ingredients and brands, using an app to scan baby food for what’s good or not so good. She’s got a notebook full of resources and tips she happily shared with other moms in the study. Melissa knows, for instance, that WIC eligibility expanded to a grocery chain that has the best produce. She knows to leverage her SNAP benefit to purchase great quality baby food that costs a bit more.
And doing her research led her to the Mommy&Me study, her first research study.
“My experience was phenomenal. And the resources you all gave were very helpful. For a mommy of five, you would think I had it all together, but it’s not always the case. It was a definitely a joy being a part of your program.”
